Dreaded Debut

Jovie made her debut on the morning show this morning.

(Jovie did great - no tears!)

But, I made my debut, too.  I've been dreading the moment for a while.

Funny, how I never cared how big I was when I was pregnant.

But I guess it's the mindset of...well, you're supposed to be bigger.

I preface the following by saying, I love my baby.  She is my main concern.  Not myself.

However,  I'm 50 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight and just a few weeks away from heading back in front of the camera.

Needless to say...I won't be losing that weight in time for my second debut.

Sometimes I feel viewers (because I'm on tv) expect you to.

But, whatever.

I don't mean that in a flippant way. I love our viewers.  But I'll do something better for them....

Learn to appreciate my body right now. 

Easier said than done. 

Still, I can't do any crazy diets because my baby needs that nutrition.  What I eat, she eats.

So no fasting.

People who know me, know I've struggled with eating disorders.  I'll never do that again.

AND... I can't even work out yet because of the c-section.  It's been a tough recovery.

So I'm stuck for now.  But in that period of idleness, my mind is transforming.

I'm going to appreciate motherhood and the body that comes with it.

And so this post is for everyone - big or small - who feels the same way I do.  

Embarrassed.  Uncomfortable.  The general feeling of..."this isn't me".  

I feel that way.  And now I have to feel that way in front of the camera.

But I promise to work on it (my health and my mind's idea of perfect).

So promise yourself the same things.

Work on your health

...but in the meantime don't hate yourself for not hitting your goal right away.

Focus on the things that really matter.  

And for me, it's my Jovie.